UPGRADE ME, SCOTTY

I’m addicted to TV shows that describe the horrible world we’re living in.

Westworld, Mr. Robot, Black Mirror … There are plenty of dystopias these days, with intriguing scripts, and great plots. Watching the world goes to hell gives me pleasure. 

The shows explain that it’s a horrific world, because us, humans, made it so with our own hands and minds. We’ve committed the sin of pride. We’re technology addicted. We can’t stop our curiosity. Ooo! Can I print human organs in my 3D printer and try to stick them in my body? Yes, please!

And here’s why they give me pleasure. They allow me to say things like ‘I told you so! Ha! I was right! I told you we’re going to fuck up the world, and you guys didn’t listen. Now look at these Robots – they’ll kill us all.”. 

You might love those shows, and maybe for the same reason that I do.

So now that TV offers so much content showing the problematic nature of our future, I decided to balance it out a bit. I think we might as well enjoy the nice things the future has to offer. 

LIKE THE CONCEPT OF CONSTANT UPGRADES.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY CONSTANT UPGRADES? LIKE FLYING BUSINESS CLASS UPGRADES?

No. I’m talking about upgrading your life, and everything around you. 

Bear with me.

Let’s talk about your smartphone for a sec. Every few months it’s getting upgraded, right? Ten years ago you didn’t have this. If you wished to upgrade your land phone, you had to go and buy a new one. 

That is why it happened only once every few years. Today you press a single button and whoop! Your phone just got new tricks! It’s a little faster now. The camera works better. The gallery has a better sync with the cloud (whatever that means).

The same thing happens with your computer, your TV box and a few more devices. And you don’t have to – God forbid – get out of the house to enjoy it. 

This is the constant upgrade concept. And we’re starting to get used to it. The most common upgrades are for the apps we use. Instagram is upgrading itself to make you look even more cool than before. Uber is upgrading so you’ll have a better ride home, etc.

And we treat app upgrades differently. Apps do not represent the technology they are made of, but the services they provide. Facebook and Instagram provide us with “social” services. Uber provides us with transportation services. Waze and Google Maps provide us with navigation services. And so on. Those services help us live our 2016 comfortable lives.

THE UPGRADE DIDN’T WORK? SEE YOU NEVER AGAIN!

We got used to constant upgrades. Without extra work, pay, or getting out of the house – our technology upgrades itself. And what if an upgrade failed? Then we’re pissed off like a wet Gremlin after midnight.

You upgraded your phone / computer / app and something got wrong? This is the end. You’re pissed. So pissed!

What are you supposed to do now if Uber doesn’t work after its upgrade? Stop taxis on the street or call the taxi office as if we’re in 2011?! Unbelievable! 

Fortunately, most of the time upgrades happen quite smoothly. Without having to have noticed. And we take it for granted. 

Since I got used to this new concept, anything that doesn’t have constant upgrades, seems so stupid to me

STUPID CAR, STUPID CLOSET – GET YOUR UPGRADES ALREADY!

I mean – why wouldn’t my car upgrade itself? The technology of cars has definitely improved since I bought it. How come I cannot upgrade her version? Stupid car.

And why do I have to go buy new clothes all the time? I mean, can’t my wardrobe get upgraded already? Can’t it learn what is trendy and what’s my taste in clothes? Then it should order something nice for me to my house. I shouldn’t waste time on picking clothes in stores. Stupid closet.

I’m going to create a printed version of my book soon. You know, with real paper, and the good smell real books have. But what if I found a mistake after it’s printed? I won’t be able to fix it remotely and it’s killing me. I’ll have to reprint the book. What is it, The Middle Ages?! No upgrades for books?

If you’ve seen Westworld, you can imagine that in the future we will be able to upgrade ourselves. Upgrade our bodies, maybe even our minds. 

Who knows, maybe I’ll have a bionic memory residing inside my head, allowing me to have a super memory… Then I’ll be able to upgrade it remotely. One day I’ll click on “Upgrade” and whop! My memory will move to Google Drive. From now on, my memory will be backed up, so if the local memory breaks, I can restore myself. Remotely.

That’s scary!

Well, when people want something – someone will build it. And it seems like we want constant upgrades. Soon enough, many things in our lives will have the ability to be upgraded remotely. Our life will get improved constantly. 

How exciting.